This is how I look when I feel joyful, carefree and liberated. It took me a while to get to this place, though.
I used to take myself very seriously. And I used to be good at hiding, not even daring to look people in the eyes.
Okay, that's a bit exaggerated.
But it is true that I was very shy. And I used to feel very shameful, just for being me.
In particular, I felt shameful when it came to my spiritual side and being open about what I felt.
I was even careful of commenting on someone else's post, because what if some people I knew saw it? What would happen then? Would they laugh at me, talk behind my back, or worse shut me out completely?
I share this story, because I know that I am not the only one who feels like this.
But there is a way out, sweet soul. Let me tell you the story of how I found my way back to me:
I remember laying in bed in my late 20's feeling fragmented and in pain, and violent inner voices telling me what I should have said or not have said in particular situations. The inner dialogue is nothing special, we all have them, but I felt a deep inner need for breaking free from this self-destructive pattern. In the same period I started to have inner visions at night that scared me, and reminded me of experiences I had when I was a little girl.
On the one hand I felt ordinary and at place in this world, blending in wherever I came. But at the same time I felt different. As my particular worldview was not met by everyone around me (at least, that was the story I told myself), it felt safer to live in two different worlds.
In one of the worlds, I was very conform and normal, a social anthropologist working in the Norwegian cultural administration, walking around in nice blouses, having the opinions I was supposed to have, seemingly living on the surface.
In the other world I was diving deep into my subconscious, feeling, sensing and breathing something more than the 3D world. I found my tribe, and people to whom I could talk about the deeper stuff, through my educations in healing therapy and art therapy. Through the studies I gathered piece by piece of myself together.
At my work desk, I secretly dreamt of flying out of the window on the back of a dragon. This explained everything I was longing for. I was longing for freedom, for embracing the non-conventional, and for inviting magic into my life, feeling free, whole and alive again, the way I remember it from the very first years I crawled and walked around on this planet earth.
I did actually love the job. But I felt a split inside. I was using my mental powers above all, while depleting my body, and this created another imbalance within. I crashed on the sofa once the work day was over. So I felt a need for change and for using myself in an entire different way.
After some years of deep inner work the solution came on its own: On the same day in 2016 I got pregnant AND the government decided to move my job far up in the north of Norway.
Those were the seeds of something new to unfold; my son being born and my new life to unravel.
I decided to quit the job and to move to... [rolling the globe] ...Denmark instead. Yeah, why not? When it feels right it is never wrong. I would never have foreseen moving to this country, but today I understand why: For some reason I could breathe deeper here. A beautiful network opened up for me. Amazing business- and spiritual teachers have been fundamental in my development these past years. Wonderful places have shown their mysteries to me. And not least, this is where I met my love.
So Denmark was the place where I decided to become an entrepreneur. And what a journey it has been! To build up my own business is the most challenging and self-confronting thing I have done in my life, bringing up all limiting beliefs, fears and inner demons that I had not yet dared to face.
And not to mention: I had created the freedom to do whatever I wanted with my life, but at the same time I was reproducing the same patterns of too much work/little fun, and thinking that I had to do it in a specific way to be successful.
Oh, how I love the challenges. They are always there to teach something, and my deep dive studies of the Gene Keys have been particularly helpful in this understanding of life.
Through the challenges, I've found my freedom. Through the challenges I have found my way back to me.
If there was no challenge, there wouldn't be any reason to find solutions, right?
Throughout this journey of building my business I am becoming more whole, more me, and more true to my needs and wishes. Through confronting my fears, in particular that of being visible and speaking my truth, I am healing my deepest wound. And through being more of me, I am bridging together the two worlds inside of me.
So where am I now?
I have settled by the ocean in the beautiful island of Fyn with my 6 year old, living next door to my boyfriend and bonus son. I have invited playfulness into my life by finally painting on big canvases (something I've felt called to for very long). There is an underlying peace within me that I haven't felt my entire life, combined with an excitement for living and for an ongoing unfoldment of my life, creativity and inspired work.
My educational background
I am a multi-passionate, and with an infinite thirst for knowing, understanding and mastering my craft. I have been studying in one way or another as long as I can remember, and I will probably continue to do so for the rest of my life.
I have always been interested in understanding human beings in depth, so from a very young age I decided that I wanted to become a social antropologist. I took a Bachelor in Development studies and a Master's in Social Anthropology at the University of Oslo. For 8 months I did a deep dive study in Cuba on sexuality and moral boundaries. I look back on this period of my life with stars in my eyes. I am proud of this education, what it taught me and where it took me. Even though I have not used this education concretely, it forms the basis of my understanding of human society, human emotions and behaviour and ways of interacting with each other.
Like I mentioned above, I educated myself in the field of personal development while I was working full time. First in Healing -and regression therapy (2014-2016) at Senter for Integral Livskunst in Norway. Here I was also initiated in Reiki 1, 2 and 3.
Then I studied Art therapy (2016-2018) at Sattva Kunstterapeutiske Institutt (Now Intitutt for Kreativ Utvikling). Pt. I am doing a further education at the same institute, refining my meditation and mindfulness practice and working deeper into the art therapeutical processes.
After moving to Denmark in 2018, I have been doing lots of courses, both within business, self-development and the healing arts. I have been activated in several healing methods at Troldmandskolen by Samouell Aurelius. Lastly I was activated in Heart healing and Intuitive healing (hjertehealing & intuitiv healing med healersjælen) by modern shaman Marianne Lane. With these last activations, something has clicked into place and opened up a renewed respect for and enthusiasm for healing and its incredible capacities for inner change.
The past 3-4 years I have also done a deep dive study of the Gene Keys; an incredible tool for understanding oneself, and human emotions and behaviour in general. Earlier this year I was certified as a Gene Keys guide.
My beautiful son and greatest teacher, Isak, on a trip to visit our Cuban family a few years back. This journey through life would be nothing without him <3